It was Thursday, and we all knew what that meant. It was off to the gym for my mother. My sister and I packed into her little, light blue Honda Accord. The seats were gray, with faint little dots of white or black here and there. We drove along the roads, and I looked out the window at the passing city. The juxtaposition of the trees and flowers next to big corporate buildings and power plants was not funny to me then, as it is now, it was just simply awkward. The sun was shining down relentlessly, baking us inside the tiny car with no Air Conditioning. We parked at the gym, my mother bouncing off towards one door, her black, used, gym bag banging against her hip, the black strap contrasting with her white skin.
"I'll pick you up in an hour," she calles to us with a wave and smile. I smile back and my sister waves. My mother knows we will be fine. I took my sister inside the building just next door, the cool air conditioning welcome against my sweaty skin. The woman at the desk smiled at us, just like she did every Thursday. Her perfect white teeth and manicured nails seemed so strange in the realm of a gymnasium. We walked into the same room as always, eating the McDonald's our mother had purchased for us, while we waited for her class to be over. My sister still loved all the old, worn toys that littered the carpet. She would make up fantastical games to play while we waited, and I would watch, politely, but rarely join. I was always too busy looking towards the door. At long last (an hour and a half later), the door to the day care center opened. I turned towards it, the ring of the bell still sounding in my head as the opening of the door set it off. There she was, the light of the sun shimmering on her, bringing out the red tint to her hair, the sheen of sweat on her skin, the smile on her lips. The water bottle in her hand was nearly empty, but the water still left inside sparkled with the sun's light. She was kind, and beautiful and yet tired and worn all at once. I was close enough now to see the dark circles under her eyes, the habitual way her lips formed a smile, but I knew she genuinely loved us. I took my sister by the hand once more and followed my mother to the car. Just another Thursday.
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Hey Jess,
ReplyDeleteThere are a lot of things working here. I loved how you set the scene in the beginning. There was a good amount of concrete detail that gave a great picture in my mind. Especially the description of the car, and the scene with your mother walking to the gym. And you also taught me a new word which is also a plus, "juxtaposition", I thought you made it up, but I confirmed it with dictionary.com haha. It is great work, i would've just liked more, at least enough to give me a better idea of your Mother. I really did enjoy it though! Great Job!
Ali Z.
This was a very detailed post. I really enjoyed your description. I'm a person who is very detailed and I reflect that in my own writing so I love to see it in others! Great job and keep up the awesome blogs!!
ReplyDeleteI thought that your description of your mother was great; how you showed her tiredness coupled with joy of her children was great. The beginning was filled with a sense of routine which I could picture very well in my mind. It was as if I was getting in that blue Honda accord. I hate the heat so I could understand how getting out of that heat may have felt.
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